


Rewind Real Slow

by NinjaSoulreaper27



Series: Destiel minisodes [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Country Music Star Dean Winchester, F/M, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Minor Character Death, Past Castiel/Amelia Novak, Past Castiel/April Kelly, Past Castiel/Kelly Kline, Rock Star Dean Winchester, Veterinarian Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21524746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinjaSoulreaper27/pseuds/NinjaSoulreaper27
Summary: Story inspired by the song 'Living in FastFoward' by Kenny ChesneyA look into the lives of Dean and Castiel while Dean lives his country music star life.It's not all fun and parties.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Destiel minisodes [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1023969
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Rewind Real Slow

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys this one has been rolling around my head for a while and I wanted to finally get it out. It's inspired by this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YApDcvIhlWw I highly recommend giving it a hear if you like country music or just wanna see what inspired me ^-^

_ The body's a temple, that's what we're told _

_ I've treated this one like an old honky-tonk _

_ Greasy cheeseburgers and cheap cigarettes _

_ One day they'll get me if they ain't got me yet _

  
  


“Damn Dean eatin’ burgers all the time can’t be good for you,” Benny shook his head as he watched Dean down his second bacon cheeseburger. 

“Hey, I gave up smoking, I can at least keep eating burgers.” He’d quit around his twenty fifth birthday after Sammy kept hounding him about it. He’d been asking him for years, the older Dean got the more he asked. Eventually Dean broke down and quit. He’d gotten Cas to join in and that helped his case even more. “And I mean damn if burgers are how I go is it really that bad?”

“Better not say that in front of Sam and Cas.” Benny bit into a large fry.

Dean sighed, yeah he’d never hear the end of it.

  
  


_ 'Cause I've been living in fast forward _

_ A hillbilly rockstar out of control _

_ I've been living in fast forward _

_ Now I need to rewind real slow _

  
  


“Good Night Dallas you’ve been awesome,” Dean shouted out to the crowd. Fans filled every seat, they’d had sold out show after sold out show. 

Everything was a blur until he found himself sitting on the couch of his tour bus alone. He ran his hands down his face. Dean was tired as fuck, he couldn’t even imagine having to talk to anyone until they made it to their next stop. As he mustered up the energy to get up his phone buzzed.

‘Great concert Dean. The kids begged to stay up and watch.’ 

Dean smiled, Cas always tried to watch the concert live streams when he could. Claire and Jack would always give Cas those puppy eyes asking if they could stay up and watch. Cas very rarely won those battles. 

‘Thanks Cas, tell the munchins goodnight and i’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.’ Yeah tomorrow he’d feel much more rested. 

  
  


_ My friends all grew up, they settled down _

_ Built nice little houses on the outskirts of town _

_ They work in their office, drive SUVs _

_ They pray for their babies and they worry 'bout me _

  
  


Dean remembered the day he heard Cas proposed to Amelia. God he couldn’t stand her, they never got along. Dean felt like it was partially his fault that Cas ended up in a loveless marriage. At first they’d seemed fine but in the end Amelia had been a selfish woman. She’d wanted all of Cas’s attention and couldn’t stand it being split between his work, his friends (especially Dean) and eventually their daughter. She left before Claire was even three. 

Somehow through all of that Cas still found time to worry about Dean. Even as he struggled through being a single father of one and running a successful veterinary clinic. He’d call when he could to check in his best friend. When Dean struggled through hard time Cas was there. 

He’d force Dean to go to the doctor, to eat better and take care of himself. Having been childhood friends Cas and Dean were close and soon Dean’s crew got to know him too. When Dean was being really stubborn Cas would get into contact with Dean’s manager Crowley. 

Crowley was rough on the outside but was actually a pretty nice guy. Cas and him seemed like the didn’t get along but honestly they were on really good terms. 

  
  


_ 'Cause I've been living in fast forward _

_ A hillbilly rock star out of control _

_ I've been living in fast forward _

_ Now I need to rewind real slow _

  
  


Dean loved his job but some days he really fucking hated being on tour all the time. Sometimes when he was on a long stretch of his tour he’d feel a pang of guilt for things he’d missed and things he hadn’t been at home for. He didn’t like to admit it but he felt lonely too. Surrounded by adoring screaming fans wasn’t the same feeling as being surrounded by friends and family. But the guild, that was probably the heaviest.

He’d barely made it to Sam’s college graduation. He’d had to livestream Cas’s graduation on the way there since he was running behind. He’d arrived just after it finished. Neither held a grudge about it, neither was mad. Dean however had felt the weight of that guilt even now. Those were memories he couldn’t get back. There would be times when he’d bring it up to Cas, usually after drinking and his best friend would pat his back and tell him it was okay. There were no hard feelings, Cas understood how hectic Dean’s life could be and he appreciated that he tried so hard to be there on time. Dean would feel a bit better but still the lingering thought that he could have done better would burrow at the back of his mind. 

The worst situations though were when he wasn’t there for his best friend. There were times when he needed Dean and Dean hadn’t been there for him. Now Cas probably never thought Dean was never there for him but Dean always felt that way. Cas had told Dean repeatedly that yes he had been there for him even if it was only over the phone but for Dean that wasn’t good enough. He felt like he should have been there in person. He and Cas always went back and forth about it.

Dean thought back to when Cas lost Kelly. He’d been reluctant to date after Amelia left but a year or so later he’d met Kelly. She was nice enough and she didn’t seem to dislike Dean. Dean just didn’t think she seemed like Cas’s type. He was starting to think his friend wasn’t so great at picking girls. However, Cas seemed happy so Dean kept his thoughts to himself. Cas had been very cautious about her meeting Claire. It wasn’t until Kelly found out she was pregnant that they decided to take things further and try and see how they’d do integrating Kelly into their family. Cas had been willing and wanted to get married again however Kelly didn’t want to. She’d told Cas how marriage wasn’t necessary for her and Dean knew that was a big blow to Cas. Marriage was important to him. 

Cas was always supportive of others beliefs and never judgemental. Dean had always found it amazing how his friend was so open minded. Some people thought it odd that Cas never tried to push his beliefs on others when he held so strongly to them. 

No matter how accepting Cas was not everyone was accepting of his beliefs. Dean watched as he friend made adjustments and once again changed himself to fit the needs of the woman he was with.Cas had faith but he wasn’t an overly religious man, he had different views on things than the church. Amelia however was extremely religious and while he was with her Cas went to church every sunday. Now with Kelly Dean watched as his friend put aside ideas of marriage. Dean had tried to tell him that they’d probably be better off raising the kids as friends then as a couple but Cas was stubborn. 

Dean was on the other side of the country the night Cas called him in tears. Kelly had died in childbirth. Kelly’s family refused to acknowledge the baby as one of their own and refused to let Cas be at the funeral or handle any of the planning. Cas was once again left alone to raise another child as a single father. Dean had done his best to keep his emotions calm the whole time. He needed to be the calm one, it was the least he could do since he couldn’t be there for him. 

When he’d called his Ma and told her the situation she’d hurried over to Cas’s house to help him with little Claire and baby Jack. Cas had called Dean once things calmed down thanking him. Dean told him it was nothing, honestly like always he felt like he could have done more. 

  
  


_ I'm always runnin', son of a gunnin' _

_ I've had a good time it's true _

_ But the way I've been goin', it's time that I toned it _

_ Down just a notch or two _

  
  


The last incident that really got to him happened about four years after Kelly passed. Dean had no idea what prompted Cas to start dating again. He’d told Cas that he didn’t need to and then it turned into a bit of an argument. Cas and Dean didn’t argue much, they had their moments but those cases were usually easily forgiven. This time however was a bit different. He still remembers that phone call clearly. Cas had sounded so tired, hurt and sad. Dean, ever the bullheaded one kept pushing forward with his own idea of the situation.

“Dean, I am an adult I think I am capable enough to determine when I am ready to start dating again.” Cas was really trying to hold in his anger. He’d just told Dean about this new girl he’d met, April. Just thinking her name left a bad taste in Dean’s mouth. 

“History says otherwise Cas. I am serious, maybe you should just focus on the kids and forget the whole dating thing.” Dean knew right away he’d fucked up. His brain said shut up, his mouth however had kept going. Cas always put the kids first. Before himself and anyone else. Dean knew that and admired and loved that about his best friend. He treated his kids better than his parents ever treated him by miles. 

“Dean,” Oh shit, that was his pissed off voice. Dean was in for it now. “I always put my children first, this is the first time I have thought about doing something for myself in a long time. Jack is almost four now Dean. It’s been four years since Kelly passed. Claire is seven now.” 

Dean didn’t need reminding, he knew how old the kids were.He’d missed Claire’s birthday party by a week because of an international tour. He’d surprised her at school and took her to a themepark to make up for it. He apologized to her but she told him ‘you didn’t do nothin’ wrong uncle Dee.’ The kids both grew up calling him Uncle Dee, Sam however had been dubbed Uncle Moose which all the adults found adorable and hilarious. 

“Still Cas, why do you need someone anyways? You’re a badass vet, great dad, awesome best friend…” Dean didn’t get to finish. 

“Because I get lonely Dean. Not all of us are okay having one night stands with whoever catches our fancy. I want a relationship, I want to be with someone. Talk to someone who gets me.” 

“Come on Cas, you’ve got someone who gets you, someone you can talk to.” Dean knew it wasn’t the same. 

Cas let out a sigh, it sounded like a sigh of disappointment and exasperation to Dean’s ears. “You know that isn’t the same.”

It really wasn’t. Dean knew what Cas meant. Cas wanted to wake up next to someone, receive a morning kiss. To have someone willing to make the coffee while he woke up the kids. Someone to take turns with dropping off the kids at school, someone to accompany him to parent teacher meetings, someone to go on date nights with while Dean’s Ma babysat the kids (Mary was their favorite babysitter and his Ma never minded. His dad love those kids too.) Someone to cook dinner with, someone to share the holidays with. Someone who’s shoulder he could cry on, who’s hand he could hold, who’s lips he could kiss. 

While Dean could do some of those things as his best friend, he couldn’t do all of them. 

Dean knew this but still he tried for some reason to talk Cas out of it. In the end, for the first time ever Cas hung up before they resolved things. Dean had promised himself the second he could get home he’d be dropping by Cas’s place so they could talk. 

That however turned out to be very difficult. Cas was either never home or extremely busy. It wasn’t until the last two days Dean had at home that he finally took Sam’s dog Bones to Cas’s clinic as an excuse to see him. 

The Cas he finally met with was not the one he’d known his whole life. He looked tired and withdrawn. Dean was pretty sure there were red scratch marks peeking out from under his collar. 

“Cas...are you okay?” Dean walked up and placed his hands on his shoulders. He felt Cas flinch under him. It wasn’t a flinch to move away, but one of pain. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong Dean. Everything is fine.” Cas didn’t even meet his eyes. Cas  _ always _ looks people in the eyes when he spoke. 

“Cas, I can tell something is up.” 

“Dean...please...drop it.” Cas sighed. Dean bit his lip and let it go. He regrets that decision so much. The one time he should have been stubborn, the one time he should have pushed forward he didn’t. 

Cas barely spoke to him the whole time, he gave Dean a half hug and told him things were fine between them. Cas didn’t call much while Dean was away, he did send texts, though much more clipped and impersonal. He did get calls and video messages from the kids though. Apparently they hadn’t met Cas’s new girlfriend yet but they already didn’t like her. They knew she didn’t make their dad happy. 

A few weeks later Dean got a late night call from Cas. Dean had been sitting on the balcony of his hotel room watching the skyline when the call came through. Cas never called this late. Dean answered after the first ring. 

“Cas?” 

Dean could hear Cas breathing on the other side of the line followed by sniffling. 

“Cas are you okay?” 

He heard a shuddered breath before he heard Cas actually break into sobs. 

“No Dean, things are not okay.” 

“What’s wrong?” Dean shot up from his seat. “Are the kids okay? Are you hurtl? Is it Ma or Dad? Sammy?”

“No...no they’re okay.” 

“What happened Cas? Talk to me, you’re freaking me out. Whatever it is I am here for you.” Silence, “Cas, talk to me.” 

“God, it’s so fucking embarrassing,” Cas whispered back. 

“Cas you know I won’t judge you, I’ve known you since we were three. You can tell me anything.”

He could tell Cas was mulling over what he was going to say. He let out a soft breath before speaking. 

“I had to call the cops on April.” 

“What? What the fuck happened?” 

“Abuse, I am filing a restraining order but...she’ll probably get locked up for a while.” Dean could hear the hopefully hanging unsaid after the sentence. 

“Cas…why didn’t you...how long?” He had a feeling as to why Cas never said anything. There were many reasons why men didn’t report things like this. Not to mention with how busy Dean was all the time Cas probably didn’t want to add more to Dean’s plate because Cas was that kind of guy.

“...pretty early on,” Cas sniffled again. Dean cursed inwardly, how could someone do that? How could anyone lay a hand on Cas? “At first it was small things I could dismiss as just rough play fullness or just something she did or would say when she got mad or annoyed but…”

“Things escalated.” Dean finished for him.

“Yeah.” Cas sighed heavily. “I never let her meet the kids and it always made her so angry. I don’t know why I stayed...I …”

“People like that are manipulative Cas, it’s not your fault.” 

“She,” Cas took a deep breath, “She tried to invite me and the kids over for dinner tonight...I didn’t bring them. She was so angry, angrier than normal. She’d been pushing to move in together and wanting to meet them. I always dismissed or rejected the ideas. We hadn’t been dating that long.” He could hear some background noise when Cas would pause, he wondered where he was. 

“She asked where the kids were after yelling and screaming at me. She really lost it when I told her they were at you parents house and she would not be seeing them.” Next thing I know I’ve got a black eye and was calling 911 from the neighbors house...Dean...she came at me with a knife.” 

The fear that ran through Dean’s body was so visceral. That crazy woman had tried to take his best friends life, she’d tried to take Cas from him. She’d tried to take him from his children, from his family. He prayed she’d end up locked up for a long time. Dean would personally pay for some damn good lawyers. 

“Fuck...Cas...god I wish I had been there for you.” 

“Dean, there’s no way you could have done anything.”

“Yes, if I’d been there maybe you would have told me or maybe I would have noticed something.” 

“Dean, please don’t linger on what if’s just think about now and from here on...please? I know how much the past weighs on you.” 

Dean ran a hand through his hair as he paced around his room. 

“Where are you?” 

“The hospital.” 

“Are you alone?”

“Yes, but Balthazar is on his way. I am going to stay the night at your parents' home.” Good Balthazar was Cas’s cousin, not to mention a kickass lawyer. Maybe Blath and Sammy could do some lawyery magic and get that bitch locked up for a long ass time. Balthazar was one Cas’s few good family members. Dean relaxed a bit knowing Balthazar was picking up Cas and that he was going to his parents house. His parents would keep him and the kids safe until he could get there. 

“Good, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Dean, you don’t have to…”

“Cas, I am going. I’ve been a fucking terrible friend for quite a few years now, I need to be there.” 

He could practically see Cas winding up to start to argue but the words that actually left his mouth were simply, “We’ll be here.” 

Dean caught the first flight back home after telling crowley the gist of things without getting into too much detail. Crowley argued a little bit but Dean got the feeling he was doing it just to keep up his image. In all honesty Dean he had a few days before his next concert so heading home wasn’t an issue.. 

  
  


_ Oh Yeah _

_ Well, I've been living in fast forward _

_ A hillbilly rock star out of control _

_ I've been living in fast forward _

_ Now I need to rewind real slow _

After the whole thing with April Dean had taken some time to slow down his tours. Cas apparently wasn’t the first guy she’d done this to. Now that she was going to court a few more men popped up willing to testify against her. Dean had actually been there the entire time for Cas. Whatever his best friend needed he was there for. 

He would help with the kids and even take them to the studio while he recorded new tracks. They were so well behaved he never had any issues. He took that time to really take a look at what he’d missed. He hadn’t realized how much older his parents were looking, how much shaggier Sam’s hair had gotten, how much rounder Jess’s stomach was (he couldn’t believe she was six months pregnant already). 

The biggest thing he’d realized was that he hadn’t noticed was when he’d started falling for his best friend. When had Cas and his kids become the most important people in his life? When he went to Sam and Charlie about this they laughed, they literally laughed. Sam finally found a moment to breathe and told Dean he was glad he finally got his head out of his ass. 

The realization was shocking yet not surprising. Dean had to settle something’s first before he allowed himself to ask Cas out on a date. Cas was special, always had been always would be, he could not fuck this up.

First step was to call Crowley and tell him he wanted to cut back on how many concerts he’d been doing and that in the near future he wanted to just do music releases. 

_ Well, I've been living in fast forward _

_ A hillbilly rockstar out of control _

_ I've been living in fast forward _

_ Now I need to rewind real slow _

_ Yeah, I need to rewind real slow _

_ Yeah, I still got some miles to go _

“And this years Country Music Entertainer of the Year awards goes to…. Dean Winchester.” The crowd goes wild as Dean gets up and makes his way to the stage. His new hit single ‘Living’ in Fastfoward’ plays in the background as he makes his way up the stairs and is handed his award. 

“Thank you thank you,” Dean waves and waits for the cheers to die down. “Now I know y’all are used to the usual. I honestly do gotta thank my parents, friends and my brother. But more than anything I wanna thank my best friend and husband, and our kids.” There were awws through out the crowd. 

Once Dean and Cas started dating Dean hadn’t held anything back. He never hid their relationship, even when the music label tried to get him to keep it on the down low and secretive. He didn’t throw it on tv or in magazines but he didn’t hide it away either. 

He never realized how easy it would be to fall into a relationship with Cas. How natural it would feel. How happy he’d be. Not to mention how happy the kids were when they told them they were getting married. They had already started calling Dean dad a year into them dating. He’d cried the first night they’d called him dad. He’d helped Cas put them to bed and they’d given him their goodnights and ended with “I love you Dad.” Cas smiled softly as he held him in their room. 

“I gotta say being married to my childhood best friend is one of the most amazing things. He’s so understanding and supportive of my career. Three years of marriage and he and the kids never make me feel bad if I miss out on something. So thanks Angel for always being there for me,” Dean smiled down to where Cas was sitting. “And before they cut me off, I got an announcement for y’all. I’ll no longer be touring.” There were gasps of surprise but also shouts of support. “I think it’s time I toned it down a notch or two and rewind real slow.” He winked at Cas who rolled his eyes lovingly, several cameras caught the exchange. “Me and the band will still be making music but we’re going to be spending more time with our families. Thank you all so much.” He waved and headed back to his seat. 

Cas leaned in and gave him a kiss, “I had no idea Crowley and the label finally caved.” 

“I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“It was an amazing surprise.” Cas smiled up at him, his blue eyes filled with love and adoration. 

“Hey,” Dean leaned in closer.

“Hmmm?”

“What would you say to heading back home early?”

“How early?”

“Like tonight?” He wasn’t sure if Cas would be up for it. “I miss the kids.” 

“I wouldn’t mind at all. I’ll make sure tickets are ready and call the hotel.” He kissed Dean’s cheek and set off a few text messages. They’d surprise the kids at their grandma and grandpa’s house. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked the story I had fun writing it. I jumped between this one and the new chapter of Unbreakable Bonds ^-^


End file.
